My Cup Overflows

This post is a very special one. It is so special because I just got ENGAGED!!! Guys, I have been on cloud 9 for the past 3 days! I can not be more excited to marry the love of my life. My fiance (weird!) asked me to marry him 2 days ago after church.

This week has been all about God and how he fulfills His plan when he sees fit. I am overwhelmed with blessings and my "cup overflows.."Psalm 23:5. When Thomas and I first realized we wanted to get married, it seemed like a lifetime until this moment. And now it is actually here! I have learned a lot over the past year about patience and waiting for God's timing. I have learned that His timing is not always your own, and His timing can change my plans at any moment. I had a plan mapped out for my life that I was determined to fulfill. Engagement at 20 years old was not part of my plan. My plan consisted of college, find a job in a big city, marriage at 28, kids by 30. Now looking at this agenda makes me laugh because my life has turned out absolutely nothing like the one I planned! And thank goodness it didn't, because if I had it my way, I would have simply missed this wonderful man in my life. I love how God's plans turn out much better than our own.

My life is about to change forever, and I am so scared but excited. I am terrified of what lies ahead and whats going to happen with us in the future, but I know God has everything worked out. What God has may not be pretty to the world, but it is beautiful in His sight. That's all that matters. Thank you Lord for the many blessings you have given me, even the ones that were hard to deal with. The good and bad in life are all blessings from You and they all work together to glorify You.

Now if I can just get through finals week then I can start planning a wedding! I absolutely cannot wait. Don't worry, I will keep you posted the whole way!!

Watercolor of Memories

Hello all, once again. Just so everyone knows, I am on "blog crack" right now as I like to call it. An actual posting the very next day after my opening post? This is serious business for me. Normally I go through these artsy phases and they fade away. However, I am really going to try, especially this next year, to keep this one up.

This blog is not so much about me and my life, but about one person who's life has been an incredible journey, and I only know a small detail. So here it goes:

Today, my mother informed me that for my grandfather's 80th birthday, the three of his children will be writing a book/memoir of his life. They are getting the book published and he will be receiving it on his 80th birthday this December. The book, as you probably know from the title of this post, is "Watercolor of Memories".

My mother explained the title to me in the perfect way. Her and her two siblings spent a lot of their childhood around the waters of Camp Helen, in Florida. She doesn't even have to tell me about the meaning of the other half of the word, color. I already know.

My granddad lost his lovely wife to cancer in the 1950s. From what I hear, she was a beautiful woman. The kind of woman that everyone saw as elegance. I wish I could have had the opportunity to know her. He remarried shortly after. His whole demeanor changed at that very moment. He was not the man he once was with his true wife.

My grandfather seemed scary when I was younger. I have developed a new perspective on him, however. He is a man that struggled with alcoholism, and quit drinking cold turkey. Just one day decided to stop. He has remarried and has made it known that he will remain faithful to that woman forever. My grandfather is a man of mistakes, sorrows, and regret. But he is also a man of commitment, honesty, and integrity.

Sometimes I think about all the things he has seen in his lifetime-- The Great Depression, WWI and WWII, Korea, Vietnam, alcoholism, losing his beloved-- and I can't help but wonder if he has been captivated by God. I find myself getting lost in his eyes just wanting to know what he is thinking, where his mind is. Is it back in the 1930s as a child wondering when the next meal would be? Or watching the news when FDR informed the world of the Japanese invading Pearl Harbor? Maybe his mind is just focusing on the here and now, because thats all he is promised.

But, isn't that all anyone is ever promised?

"Be still, and know that I am GOD; I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth." -Psalm 4:10

My grandfather, Larry Edmunds, with his great-grandson, Camden.

Captivated in Humility

Welcome to the first posting of "Captivated"! I have one other blog that I write in occasionally. Unfortunately, I do not let anyone see that blog because it is extremely private. Yeah I know, then what is the point of even having a blog right? Well, it just is a cool way to keep a journal for yourself!

Anyways, back to the topic at hand. I chose to start this blog for many different reason. Reason #1: I'm bored #2: I'm trying to get in touch with my artsy side and #3: I need another hobby in my life besides studying nutritionally biochemistry reaction equations. So there you have it.

When I was thinking about the name of this blog, the title just jumped out of my head and into the text box. Captivated is one word that has so much depth to it. According to good ole dictionary.com, captivated means: "to attract and hold the attention or interest of, as by beauty or excellence; enchant." Okay, is that not just the coolest word ever? It may not be to whoever is reading this, but for me, hells yeah it is. =)

Captivated is an adjective that I can only strive to be. I can never achieve it. I want to be captivated by the King. I wish to be so enthralled with Him, so attracted to Him that it is an enchantment. Captivated to the point that He is all I want. He is all I long for. He is all I exist for. I want to be captivated by His beauty, His excellence, His sovereignty. So captivated that every breath I breathe is worthless unless its given to His glory.

Tall order I know, some dream I have right? This one will keep me busy until..well...my funeral. I will fail. I have failed. I am failing even as I write this posting. But the very beauty that I am forgiven for all of my faults just keeps me captivated all the more. So it is almost like the more I sin and fall flat on my face, the more I see how amazing God's grace is and am CAPTIVATED by it. Does this mean I should just sin for the heck of it? Nope, absolutely not. There are consequences to sin, and believe me I'm dealing with consequences. But I am seeing the Gospel more and more everyday through my weakness. And isn't that true with what the Bible says? "For my strength is made perfect through your weakness..." 2 Corinthians 12: 9.